you know how animal rights people are always pissing and moaning about how inhumane zoos are and how it's cruel to keep the animals locked up? i dont think they ever took sloths into consideration. sloths in a zoo have the best life they could hope for. they move 3 feet a week or whatever so its not like they're missing out on running around. they get regular meals, so they can put even less effort into life (which seems to be what they're all about), and they dont have jaguars hunting them. a sloth can literally do nothing in the wild that it can't do in a zoo except wake up with a 50% chance of dying every day. compared to that, i think the zoo sounds like a pretty good fucking deal.
or to put it another way, if you view being in a zoo as the sloth's "job" then the sloth's "job" guarantees life, food, and medical care. all it has to do in return is do what it would be doing anyway and hang on a tree. that would be like me being given food, medical care, and the promise of not being murdered and eaten to sit on the couch all day. if someone offered me that i'd take it in a second
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